Man, oh, man. People do dumb things when they drink too much. Take this Australian dude who tried to ride a crocodile. Even after getting chunks bitten out of his leg by the angry croc, he returned to the bar for more brew. For the record, Redhook does not approve of this behavior.
But we try not to judge. The guy clearly has a problem. And honestly, who among us doesn’t have his or her own tales of drunken foolishness? Redhook has more than a few friends who have walked the walk of shame after waking up next to someone they barely know. In case you’ve mentally blocked out what that felt like, check out this favorite from a few years ago:
All of which leads us to our featured movie at Redhook’s Moonlight Cinema on August 5.
If you haven’t seen it, The Hangoveris hilarious, yet cautionary tale of what can go wrong when four dudes combine Vegas, a bachelor party, alcohol and roofies. Settle down, that’s not a spoiler.
Anyway, should be a great time at the Woodinville Brewery. If you come out, please drink responsibly. And if you’re here and you start feeling like you want to ride a crocodile, talk to a hostess and we’ll call you a cab.
We hope to see you here.
Here’s a peek at the rest of our Moonlight Cinema schedule:
A lot of people go through nasty breakups. George Cascone’s ex-wife, Dorothy, was angry enough to try and hire someone to kill him.
Fortunately for all parties concerned, the hit man turned Dot in and George is now safe. In fact, we’re guessing he’s the most good-natured murder-for-hire target ever. Check it:
Some of our favorite George quotes:
“The part that insulted me the most is the fact that she was going to pay the hit man so little money…she should’ve paid at least $10,000. Two grand is not enough to get that work done.”
“She is psychotic, crazy, diabolical and evil. I mean Tiger Woods ain’t got nothing on me. She’s smashed up several of my cars.”
Speaking of Tiger, if you haven’t seen this reenactment of his infamous crash while fleeing from his angry wife , you really must.
Anyway, back to George. We’re not saying he’s a man of tremendous character. He’s cheater who likely sells crappy cars. But he does seem to roll with the punches well. And for that we say, “Buy That Murder-For-Hire Target A Redhook.”
Come to think of it, that sounds like an awesome idea for a game show.
Hmm. Yesterday, Redhook called out FIFA on its refusal to consider using replay on controversial goals.
Today, Sepp Blatter, the president of FIFA, apologized to Mexico and England for the missed calls in this past weekend’s World Cup matches. He also announced that FIFA would take up the issue of using goal line technology at its meetings later this summer.
Response to Blatter’s apology has been tepid. Why did this take so long when people have been asking for replay for years? How would goal line replay correct a missed offside call, like in the Mexico-Argentina match? Answer: it wouldn’t. Which is a bad answer.
Anyway, it’s clear FIFA’s announcement today is no coincidence. When Redhook focuses his stare of justice on wrong-doers, wrong-doers always blink.
As Redhook and his mates watched yesterday’s World Cup matches, it became clear that FIFA must start using instant replay to review goals.
In the early match, England was denied a goal that was clearly over the line:
In the second match, Argentina was awarded a goal, even though the goal scorer was offside (note the Argentine player in blue behind the Mexican defenders in green):
This is totally uncool, of course. To have such blatant errors stand, even though we have the means to correct them, is unacceptable. FIFA’s charming response is that, rather than fix the issue, they will limit showing controversial replays at stadiums.
Whatever. It’s only sports. On to more important things.
Redhook has let too much time pass without acknowledging the passing of Manute Bol on June 19, two days after Kobe Bryant and the Lakers won their second straight NBA Championship.
Manute Bol averaged 8.6 blocks per 48 minute game.
Why bring up Kobe? Only to point out that even though he’s won five rings, an MVP trophy and is widely considered one of the greatest players of all time, he is not beloved. In fact, most people think Kobe is a d-bag. This face says it all:
The face of determination or jerkdom?
Manute Bol, on the other hand was beloved. He was pure good, devoting countless hours and every penny he had to helping the people of his native Sudan. It’s important to note that he died after getting sick on yet another trip to his homeland.
Human Goodness™
Some of the stories we read about Manute Bol mentioned that he enjoyed a beer now and then. We hope that’s the case, because we’d like to raise a glass to him.
Manute, thanks for being a better person than the rest of us. Rest in peace.
Redhook’s dad taught him lots of things. How to build a fire. How to respond to an unprovoked attack. How to be polite. And that eating meals directly from the pot you cooked them in cuts down on dishes. All valuable lessons.
Dad also taught Redhook that finishing a job meant cleaning up your mess. Things like putting away your tools, sweeping up sawdust or wiping up blood after you’ve taught someone a much-needed lesson. Which brings us to BP.
Dudes, 59 days and counting? Get it together already and plug that leak. And once you do, consider bringing in these guys with their dad-like ingenuity to help clean up the Gulf:
Nice idea, gentlemen. Thanks for sharing. We wish you and all the other dads out there with lessons to teach a Happy Father’s Day.
Life is full of simple, magical pleasures. The laughter of a child. The first blossoms of springtime. A rainbow after a torrential downpour. But with all due respect to babies and Mother Nature, nothing compares to the boundless joy one can find in any given episode of Cheaters.
Cheaters is, perhaps, the most awesomely, horrible TV show ever created. It should be mandatory viewing for anyone having a bad week. No matter how awful your life seems, at least you’re not on Cheaters. Headed to prison? Lost your job? Contracted the Ebola virus? Cheer up, friend. You’re not on Cheaters.
The best part about Cheaters isn’t the surveillance or the fighting or the tears or the bleeped-out swear words. It’s the sanctimonious admonitions delivered by host Joey Greco to the cheaters in every episode. Joey can deliver a finger wagging, “How dare you?” better than any mother in America.
Unfortunately, in researching this post, Redhook discovered something that shook him to the very core. According to some reports, Cheaters is staged. Is nothing sacred?
Given that Inside Edition doesn’t have a ton more credibility than Cheaters, Redhook would prefer to keep believing Joey Greco is a beacon of integrity. Just like, pardon the clumsy segue, Redhook ESB.
Originally brewed in 1984, Redhook ESB is still impressing judges with its original brewing recipe twenty-six years later, including winning a Gold Medal at the 2009 Great American Beer Fest. How’s that for commitment? We think Joey would be proud.
With apologies to Don McLean, who commemorated the deaths of Buddy Holly, Richie Valens and The Big Bopper with his eight-and-a-half minute opus American Pie, the music truly died yesterday when heavy metal rocker Ronnie James Dio passed away after a battle with stomach cancer.
Redhook still remembers the day back in the 80s when his older brother rushed into the house with Dio’s Holy Diver album and said, “Dude, check it out! When you turn Dio’s name upside it says, ‘Devil!’ ” We turned it over and, sure enough, there it was: D-E-V-I-L.
Wow. Working “devil” into your name and logo? That’s tattoo-like in its level of commitment. Some folks dedicate their lives to fighting cancer. Some fight crime. Some take a vow of celibacy. But Ronnie James Dio committed all 5′ 4″ of himself to rock and Satan. Not sure the Satan thing’s an admirable trait. All we know is that he has a tribute song from Tenacious D and the rest of us don’t.
What does any of this have to do with Redhook?
Well, when Dio was screeching Rainbow in the Dark in arenas across America in 1983, heavy metal lovers clad in black t-shirts and parachute pants were enjoying some of Redhook’s original brews.
And while the Redhook logo doesn’t offer anything mystical when you turn it upside down, a bottle of delicious Redhook Ale does.
Click on the mp3 player below for this week’s soundtrack, then read on.
To motivate you to participate in this Sunday’s 15th annual Redhook Haul Ash bike ride, we thought we’d share some exciting footage from last year’s ride:
Don’t panic. It’s not like that at all. The Haul Ash is a leisurely 41-mile round trip ride between Fremont and the Redhook Brewery in Woodinville along the peaceful and relatively flat Burke-Gilman trail. There will be beer at the halfway point and non-alcoholic bevs for the sub-21 crowd.
Check out all the pertinent details on the handy graphic below, and for more info, click here.
We’re hoping this weekend’s awesome weather is a precursor of lots of warm weather to come. Which means, you’ll want to stock up on lots of tasty Redhook Blonde and Rope Swing. Cheers.
We’ve provided a soundtrack worthy of today’s exciting news. Please click on the audio player below, then listen to the pageantry unfold as you scroll down the giant bottle of Big Ballard IPA and read all the deets.
Soundtrack of Pageantry
A few weeks ago, we confirmed the rumors were true: Big Ballard IPA is on its way.
Now, we’ve finally nailed down the particulars of our release party in Ballard, the town where it all started for us so many years ago.
The Big Big Ballard IPA Release Party will be at the Old Pequliar in Ballard on April 22, from 4 pm to 7 pm. There will be $3 pints of Big Ballard from 4 pm to 6 pm, live music, plus prize drawings at 5 pm, 6 pm and 7 pm.
For what it’s worth, the 7 pm Grand Prize drawing is for a $1000 gift certificate to Redhook Ale Brewery — which is a lot better than a keychain beer bottle opener.
Who’s invited? You, your friends and lots of other important people, including Redhook brewers Tom Mace and Kim Brusco.
First, it was born. Then it snagged the coveted position as Redhook’s seasonal Spring Ale (while Copperhook got kicked upstairs to full-time status). Then, this past week, it won a Bronze Medal at the 2010 World Beer Cup. Go ahead and click on that link and scroll down to Category 59: English-Style Brown Ale. We’ll wait.
(Whistling tunelessly while we wait for your page to load and you scroll down to Category 59 like we asked you to.)
See, we told you, Bronze Medal. We also have photographic evidence below:
Check out the proud look on Redhook Brewmaster Greg Deuhs’ face. And why not? Greg calls Mudslinger one of his favorite beers. Or as the Brits say, “Favourite.”
The only possible downside to this news is that you’ll have to sprint to your favorite grocer’s beer cooler if you want a case of Mudslinger. Come the end of April, it’s off the shelves until next January.
